It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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