you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
