I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
