Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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