are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
