He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
