i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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