party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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