More tranny stories later!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize