I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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