is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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