Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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