I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
