does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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