I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
