Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
