Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
