Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize