I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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