We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
