I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
