ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
