By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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