Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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