Buhtt sex?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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