Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
