The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
