Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
