I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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