i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
