just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
