Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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