I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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