I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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