Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
