Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
