so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
