Plan B is the new Plan A
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize