Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
