i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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