Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
