We're like a lot better than the average bears
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize