i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
