Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
