I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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