Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
