he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
