is your mom at the bar?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
