Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
