when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
