Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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