who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
