Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
