Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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