I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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