Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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