good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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