On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
