Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
