i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
