5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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