yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
