Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
