he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize