You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
