Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
