so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
