If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
