Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
