Pappa wants mamma naked
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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