Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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