I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
