Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
