my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
