I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
