Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
