There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
