Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
