Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
