I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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