I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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